Okay--for the sake of my own piece of mind, I have constructed a narrative. It goes like this.
Heidi Montag realized in a blinding flash of clarity that, being as she hasn't any talent, the path she was on would lead sooner or later to-literally-whoring herself out to horny bloggers.
She thought about killing herself--and who wouldn't?--but thankfully (from a strictly human POV, anyway), her life was saved. Tired of the bad taste in her mouth from sucking on the bottom rung of the celebrity ladder, she has escaped.
She is now living in an undisclosed location somewhere between Australia and Canada and, by all reports, is much more comfortable and at her ease with her life.
However, certain business obligations required that a Heidi Montag be available for magazines, television, and other industry appearances.
So they put about the story that Montag had become addicted to plastic surgery before she vanished (and Godspeed, Heidi!).
Meanwhile, an android was built and assembled.
This is the narrative that I have constructed.
I had to.
Because, the alternative...
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